I Didn’t Sign Up For This

Outfit Details

[most of it is old]

jacket: adidas I tank: old navy I leggings: new balance I sunglasses: quay I tennis shoes: adidas

I didn’t sign up for this life and it hasn’t been an easy adjustment. I met H in college when he was just starting his student teaching. It was the spring and he was doing his coaching through baseball. At the time, he had no desire to coach football. Now six seasons in, he is football obsessed and would be okay if he never coached baseball again.

My first year of being involved, we weren’t even married yet. At that time, I still had three semesters left of college. I didn’t know about the hours, the long nights, the miles, and the weekends worked. Not to mention the holidays and the summers that would get taken away. It didn’t make me run for the hills but it wasn’t the easiest on our relationship. I didn’t know that I would end up marrying a coach.

A lot of times I felt like I was giving up so much without being asked. I can distinctly remember texting H multiple times saying “I’m not the team mom type.” I didn’t want to be the lady that took all the snacks and brought all the goody bags. I wanted to be the lady that showed up supported her husband and then went home to do her own thing.

I struggled with us not having our time together. I got mad when he was always at the field house. I didn’t want to hang out with the other coaches and their wives. I wanted it to just be us all the time. I didn’t understand why he had to be at some sporting events even if he wasn’t the coach. I distanced myself from his whole career for the first few years of our relationship.

It wasn’t until about year three that I started to put my toes in the water. Every now and then we would go hang out with the other coaches and their families. I wasn’t annoyed that he was always at work and I also went to those other sporting events that he didn’t coach. I began to let my guard down and get involved instead of pushing it away. I realized that I can still chase my dreams while supporting his. I’ve learned that we are a team and we have to support each other as teammates. I came to the realization that I wasn’t looking at what his job has given me.

His job has given me the opportunity to take in these kids like my own. Look out for them, pray for them, and hope that they make the best out of their life. His job has given me the opportunity to meet new people and create some pretty great friendships. His job has taken me on one of the greatest adventures of my life. It has given us the option of starting a new chapter every year, whether that is staying at the same place or moving to a different one. It has taught me life lessons and opened the door to many opportunities.

I still get frustrated sometimes when we can’t do things or travel in the fall. His job paves the way for pretty much everything that we do and attend. I know that H loves us and would never move us to a place that we would be miserable in. Even with heavy schedules, he gives us everything that we’ve ever wanted. He knows the sacrifices that we make as a family for him. Eventually one day I will have to explain to KB why Dad hangs out with other kids and not him, but that’s another story for another day.

Every season is an emotional rollercoaster. Some will never understand it and they don’t have to. I know that I am proud to be a coach’s wife. I do this because I know that if the tables were turned, H would do the same for me. If my dream job became available, he would move for me just like I have moved for him. All I know is that “this” is even better than what I ever could have imagined.